This Facebook Thing...

Has taken a turn.

First, if you don't know what Facebook is, then I ask you, 'What rock have you been under?' Facebook is, according to their website, "a social utility that connects you with the people around you." What does social utility mean exactly? Does a blog also fall under the category of social utility?

Anyway, Facebook is basically a way to look up people from the past (or present) and add them to your friends list. Once they are your friends you can access their profile; leave messages for them and look at their pictures. Until a few days ago, I thought it was great connecting with people that I haven't thought of in years, people that I went to elementary school with; people that I'd met in cadets, people that I worked with at summer camp etc etc. Recently however, people have been adding me to their friends list and I've no idea who they are. They might have attended my high school but I don't know them. I might vaguely recognize them after squinting at their profile picture for a minute or two but I still remain uncertain as to why they decided to 'friend' me. Do they just want to up their friend count or did I somehow unknowingly impact their lives in some way? I suspect it is the former.

Second, if you are thinking of creating a Facebook account ask yourself, 'Do I really want to invite the past in?' Sure, for the past few weeks it's been fun wading through great memories of high school and cadets. Reconnecting, you know? Satisfying morbid curiousity, even. It's interesting to see who has gotten married and who has had children (which is just about everyone btw). It's even been interesting finding out what a couple of my ex-boyfriends are up to now. Really, it's nice knowing that there are people out there who have thought of you over the years, perhaps just as much as you've thought of them. It's flattering.

Yet yesterday, I experienced the dark side of Facebook (the dark side of Facebook, I like that). Someone that I would have preferred stayed in the past added me to his list of friends. Do we, he and I, not share the same memory of events? Perhaps it didn't quite leave the same impact on both of us. I was quite surprised by the intensity of my feelings, actually. I thought I'd put all that shit behind me but I guess it still has the power to upset me. Interesting. Is this my chance to put it all behind me and extend the olive branch? Maybe....but I'll probably just peruse his profile, exchange some pleasantries and that will be that. He is probably oblivious to any ill will I carry.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to remove myself from this wondrous social utility but I am going to have a closer look at privacy settings. Done are the days of open access. Because to date the positives, staying in almost daily contact with friends, seeing pics of events present and past, feeling more connected to friends and family, far outweigh the negatives.

Thanks for reminding me of this day Rich! Feeding the kangaroos was better than feeding the deer in Nara.