Suckety, suck, suck*

Why does it always come down to shoes? I’d packed nearly everything. I was feeling pretty optimistic that I’d be able to fit everything into the three suitcases I’ve allotted myself and then my mind suddenly shifted to the shoes still sitting on the shelves next to my front door. With that my mind short-circuited – packing is over for the moment because I’m about two seconds from curling up in the foetal position on my tatami surrounded by a halo of shoes. I think I’ve been handling this leaving Japan thing pretty well but then when something so little puts me so close to the edge, I realize just how precarious a position I was in to begin with. In less then three days, there goes four years of a life I’ve fought ferociously to build for myself. Now, I’m crying. And oh how I fear everything I’ve gained will just disappear like a speck of dust. And there’s the doubt – followed very closely by the claws, because believe me folks, there is still much fight left in me.

*replace s with f.