The Earth Shakes Under My Feet

4:50am – I spring to a sitting position, throw the covers off me, propel myself from my futon, whip the door separating the main room from the hallway/kitchen open and with one big lunging step I am at the front door. Safety. This, this is when I actually fully wake up and realize that my legs are jelly. I’m not sure how they carried me to where I stand. Breathing in the cool air from outside, I wait for the earth to stop rolling – for the furniture to stop shaking. I wait for the ceiling to fall in on me. I’m convinced that if I look behind me the only thing I’ll see is smoking rubble. It ends. After a few minutes, I return to my futon, tense and full of adrenaline. It’s a good hour before I’m able to fully relax and fall back asleep. I sleep until 3:00 o’clock the next afternoon, exhausted I think, from pure fear.