Hello God, it’s me Joanne.

ON THE PLANE BEFORE TAKE-OFF: As I shift in my seat, it tilts so that I’m practically thrown into a kneeling position. I slowly take stock of my situation. I cock my head toward my neighbour to the left as if to say, “Are you seeing this?” He says, “I think your seat is broken.” Yes, one could come to such a simple solution as this; however, I am no simpleton – No. This is God playing with me. (How many times has he pulled this stunt on frightened flyers the world over, I wonder?) So here I am, ladies and gentleman, in prayer position faced with a very serious question. Is He joking or is this a serious sign from Heaven? Like any good Catholic, I decide not to chance it and pray fervently for a safe flight. And like any good paying customer, I don’t put up with shit. I signal to the flight attendant (after signing the cross of course) to get me the hell out of the hot seat. God’s had his giggle for the day.