Onwards!

(Again, another title borrowed from the charismatic Doctor.)

Let's begin shall we? I know. I haven't blogged in about a month and a half. I've been meaning to, does that count? It took an email from my ever faithful friend Kathy to get me into gear. Sometimes, it's scary how well she knows me. We haven't been in the same city (or country) in two years and yet she still somehow intuits what I'm feeling and experiencing. She somehow knows what I'm up to before I do. This is what she wrote in her last email, "You know, you don't need to have your life all figured out before emailing me." And yes I guess to a certain degree this is what I've been doing both with emails and with blogging, I've been waiting for level ground. I've been waiting for things to settle down and feel normal. Ha. If I truly waited until that time, I fear I'd be old and gray. So this entry is an attempt to catch you up with what I've been doing and experiencing for the past two and half months. Deep breath. Here I go. Allons-y, as the good Doctor says.

Wait. Before I begin I feel the need to mention that I'm living in downtown Ottawa with my boyfriend Rich in a condo he bought last year. I don't have a job nor am I actively looking for one at the moment although, I have applied to a few. (Haven't heard a peep yet.) I mention these things because Kathy, to my surprise, didn't know where I was living or if I was working. So I guess the question is what have I been doing with my time? (Aside from watching the fourth season of Doctor Who and discovering I truly suck at Guitar Hero, of course.)

Well I've been cooking and baking for one. Can I truly express to you how happy I am to have more than one burner and two inches of counter space in my kitchen? Seriously, I can't. Before I left Japan I made a list of things I wanted to do when I moved back to Canada and cooking definitely topped the list. (Unfortunately, I threw that list out along, it seems, with everything else I owned in Tokyo. That's another story.) Cooking. Cooking. Nothing brings me more joy than cooking a delicious, healthful, vegan meal. Nothing. My first trip to the Bulk Barn tops my list of things I've done since returning to Canada. (Go on. You think I'm pathetic. Ask me if I care?) Bulk Barn has everything - ground flaxseed, whole wheat pastry flour, nutritional yeast, vegetarian chicken noodle soup mix...I could go on. I shall stop there. Seriously the me of four years ago would not recognize the me of today. I have a hard time sometimes believing that I was anything other than vegan. Ones relationship with food either has the ability to make one feel incredibly awful and pathetic or incredibly joyful and strong. I could talk about food endlessly. I'll try not to but another point on that list I'd wrote in February was making a garden on my (our) balcony.

The last two Wednesdays I took an organic gardening class for apartment dwellers. Wow, who knew that gardening was so involved. I'm hoping to take a little of what I learned and just go with it. This year will simply be an experiment. If I actually grow anything I'll be both surprised and pleased. I'm not known for my green thumb. I shall keep you posted. I'm hoping to buy everything I need this weekend. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Yet another thing on my list was going to the gym. And from what my aching muscles are telling me, I should have joined sooner. Crap. Exercising is tiring. No wonder I've avoided it. Yup so I joined the gym last week and got myself a personal trainer. I figured I might as well get into a routine now so that's it's easier to maintain when I begin working again. This is the plan anyway. The alternative is sitting on the couch and feeling depressed and pathetic. (I still do that, mind you, just less so.) I went for my third session with my trainer this morning and I felt like I was going to vomit afterwards. Is that a good sign? Will I ever have the six-pack that I desire? (Don't answer that.)

Well the best thing about living in Canada again is being closer to my family and friends. It's awesome. What can I say beyond that? My parents, who are only an hour away, visit regularly. I invited them up this weekend for the Great Glebe (Community) Garage sale. An event I know my mom will absolutely love. She's a treasure hunter that one. Julie and her family will visit Ottawa at the end of May and I'm hoping to visit Jen in June when she returns from her sojourn in France. Goodbyes are so much easier now then they were before. Never realized it before, but I seriously had to harden my heart a little each time I left my family for Tokyo.

Well folks that's what I've been doing - of course there's more: NHL Hockey Game with Trish, visits with Tracy and Marj, Blue Rodeo concert with Trish, Comedy night with some new friends, Potluck with the National Capital Vegetarian Society, Tulip Festival with Rich...

I've focused on the good here, folks because there is a lot of it but let me tell you, I'm not having an extremely easy go of it. Yes, I'm experiencing some reverse culture shock. Yes, I'm trying to figure out where my life is heading. Although, these seem absolutely tiny compared to just how much I miss my friends in Tokyo.

And that's where I end for today...